Why you* suck at social media

*I... I suck at social media.

Social media is such a beast. I've got a serious love-hate relationship with it - don't we all?

This post is entirely my own opinion. It doesn't contain wisdom. It's not looking for advice. It's just a little rant because sometimes the character limit in a regular post (or skeet as they're called on BlueSky - wtf! who decided on that name?) just ain't enough. You might find it hypocritical or just plain dumb. Maybe you'll relate.

Let me start by saying I think social media is overall fun. Without it, I wouldn't be an author. I would've never gotten anyone to read my books or found a supportive community of artists and writers to cheer on me to continue.

I rely on it to connect with friends, share and support work from other writers, and to showcase my own work.

If I want anyone to notice my books I must be on social media.

Much.

And often!

And I want to be because I'd love to find more readers for my books! It's a dream of mine to not just go even with my expenses, but maybe one day actually earn from my books.

So why am I not just online more? Why don't I share, shit-post, make funny memes, join the discussions, and do all the authorly things? All the things I know I should do if I want traction?

First up ...

I'm generally a shy person. I don't like to interrupt people and I'm not good at taking up space in conversations. In "the real world" I'm fairly good at reading a room. If I don't vibe with the energy, I stay away. If people are assholes I tell them off, then avoid them. I've got a limited bandwidth for socializing so I'm fairly picky with who gets my energy.

But on social media, you can't read the room. You can't sit quietly in the corner and still be part of the conversation. You can't be a presences without making noise.

And I hate making noise!

I need to more so now when my primary platform is BlueSky that is driven by interaction, not an algorithm.

I don't like when I can't see the person behind the words. I like to give people the benefit of the doubt, I like to meet everyone with the same kindness and curiosity, but online creeps and trolls easily hide behind sweet words and jokes, so my solution is often to stay quiet.

I'll take you up on argument in real life. Any day, any time. I've got strong opinions on the world. Humanity and nature first. Love above all. Greed is the virus that's killing us. Capitalism is a goddamn menace!

But writing out an argument is tiresome, misunderstandings are so easy, and the nuances get lost between the lines. I hate, hate, hate to argue online. I avoid it like covid. And let's face it: The trolls looooove to misunderstand and twist your words against you.

Secondly...

I don't have that much time during the day to be online (I know this is shitty complaint. We're all hella busy on societies crap schedule). My work days are 9hrs long and I spend my lunch break taking a walk rather than scrolling social media. I talk to patients every day. I listen to them rant and complain (often justified), offer sympathies and solutions, and after doing that all day, listening to people rant and complain (not always justified) online is just not on the top of my list. And by the time the daily chores are done, the clock is nearing 8 and I've got about an hour of screen time before I'm shutting them off for the night.

Because I'm also fairly aware of my time in front of a screen. I like to not be in front of one all the time. I like to go on evening walks with my bf - without phones - or spend time in the garden. Crochet or other creative endeavors. And I don't want to, or have to, post online about those all the time.

Which leads to the most important factor:

I don't want to be online 24/7.

I don't want to share every little bit of my life.

I don't want to scroll constantly.

I don't want the constant (over)stimulation of information.

My brain can't handle it! Once it could. I was so damn good at multitasking, juggling issues, working and having fun. But whether because I've gotten old and wise (lol - unlikely) or stress and burnout permanently altered my brain (more likely), it's just not working for me anymore.

I like, and need to, keep my focus on what I'm doing while I'm doing it.

If I'm watching a movie, I'm watching a movie, not scrolling through my feed and posting about it. If I'm sitting in the garden, I'm watching the birds and flowers or clouds in the sky. When my mind need time off, I stare out of the window, daydream, play with my cats, or talk to my boyfriend, read a book.

When I'm scrolling social media, I'm not able to write. When I'm writing, I'm not able to stay on social media.

So I knowingly allow myself a lot of time off social media.

And about now you're probably thinking "ugh such a holy ass - just watch your goddamn clouds without complaining about it! Get over it."

And yeah... I get you. Which is why I warned that this is just a rant. Not looking for sympathy, solutions, or advice.

Most advice is always "just schedule your posts!", "give yourself 15 min a day to be online", "just be a superhuman and do it anyway!"

But like... that's completely missing the point. Yeah, I'm obviously able to allocate 15 min every day to social media (I'm probably online wayyyy more than that already), but in 15 min I can't be present. I can't comment, interact, share, and be part of the conversation. Which is what the point of social media is...

And yes, I do schedule posts. Standard, slightly boring promo posts just to do the absolute bare minimum of marketing. But a scheduled post is also not engaging. It's not part of the conversation. I'm not present and they have minimum impact.

So if I want to get more attention to my books, if I want a bigger community of support and inspiration, if I want to be part of the conversation - I must be more online. I must comment, engage, be funny. All the things.

Which brings it back to the point of this post that I don't want to and, honestly, I'm not capable of it either. With the amount of social media I feel comfortable doing without compromising my sanity, I'm simply not able to become a bestseller, earn double digits, or gain a great following.

Realizing this has actually helped me chill down a lot about my very slow sale and narrow reach. Just getting one sale a month, if even, is pretty darn awesome!

But,

I'm annoyed at myself for not being able to do more for my author career online.

I'm frustrated, because social media often relies on a very steady presences that I'm not able to give it, so when I have been online a lot, it doesn't feel like it's paying off.

And then I get shameful that this is issues I struggle with when * gestures at the state of the world *.

I'd love to just shed my shyness and be better at joining the conversations with my writer-peers and friends. And stop being so self-conscious and just share the deranged book posts, shit posts, and memes.

So far my main focus has been to stop antagonizing over "lack of sales" when I'm not doing the necessary work to get sales. It ain't easy, but I'm getting better at it.

And at the same time I'm happy that with what little I do I still have a great community around me. I still get a sale every now and then.

SO ANYWAY!

I told you this was a pointless rant...

I've got no real conclusion to this post. There's no bright summary or clever solution. I'm trudging on i the murky waters of publishing just trying to stay on a path that feels good for me and my mental health.

Not being online 24/7 is unfortunately part of that.

And so, instead of spending time on social media doing all the things I just complained I don't have time to do, I spent time writing this dumb-ass post I'll now yeet to my feed before heading out in the garden and stay off social media for the rest of the day 🤡

If you made it this far, thanks for reading!